Good morning Saturday!
Today’s post has a community service feel about it! Not just because it’s so very important to wear clean undies (your mum was right, you never know when someone’s going to see them!) but also because it’s important to take care of YOU! More on that later.
My story starts here,
Late last year I had a BCC (Basal Cell Carcinoma) removed from my arm. What seemed like an rather innocuous red mark did in fact turn out to be something more. A biopsy with my GP and subsequent appointment with a Specialist Dermatologist and the BCC was removed!. Nine months later I’m left with a small scar, a reminder of what could have been a lot worse.
Fast forward to Monday this week. I was back at my specialist for my now annual check-up. This is the part where my nightmare begins ( in a funny way!). You see it really didn’t occur to me for reasons I have no logical answer for, that my doctor would of course want to check over my entire body. Maybe it’s because last time I was there he didn’t do this. When I say he didn’t, I mean he checked my arms, chest, back and face. Nothing below the waist. I figured this appointment would be much of the same.
Boy was I wrong!
I obligingly removed the layers of clothing from my top half as instructed. The doc gave me the once over and then muttered the words no woman wants to hear. Especially when she hasn’t shaved her legs, trimmed any other necessary areas or given
much any thought to the UNDIES!!
Dr: ‘OK Malinda, remove your pants and lie down on the table’
OMG kill me now.
In my haste to rouse two sleeping children still on school holidays, dress myself, make breakfast and drive kids to in-laws house all before 8.30am I really didn’t think about what was going on below the belt. I didn’t have time to make adjustments and as I said earlier, I didn’t think I’d actually be taking my pants off. DUH!!
But I did as I was told. I sat, not lied on the table, using what little clothing I had put back on to shield the doctor’s eyes from the unimaginable. Really what he should have been wearing was some kind of safety sunglasses to shield his eyes from the blinding reflection coming off my lilly white legs! It’s so ironic that someone who’s legs haven’t seen daylight since 2001 would be in a doctor’s office being treated for potential skin cancer.
Dr: ‘Now roll over onto your stomache’
It’s so very hard to maneuver your body gracefully without giving away too much when your on a teeny tiny bed. And let’s face it, my long gangly body makes me about as graceful as a giraffe at the best of times. But again, I did as I was asked and as I rolled over I could feel the fabric of my underwear shift to a place it doesn’t belong. I was frozen for fear of making it worse but it was too late the damage was done. Now I’m fairly certain the doctor was back there not batting an eye lid at what he may or may not have seen. Doctors and nurses, they’ve seen it all before. However when your the one lying there in the moment it doesn’t get any less mortifying! There are just too many situations like this that us women folk have to go through! It could have been worse…….
After finding three freckles that looked suspicious I was booked to come back to the surgery on Thursday to have them shaved off. Yes that’s as bad as it sounds, mostly because of the local anesthetic injections. This time I was prepared!
Imagine my disappointment when this time around, after shaving, trimming and bringing out the good undies. Yep, I bought out the big guns. No not BONDS, they’re too pricey!. I’m talking about my sensible, come in a pack of 5 perfectly acceptable RIO briefs. No lace, definitely no g-strings and certainly no high waisted full brief granny undies! But my procedure took 20 minutes and I had to wear a gown. I’m not sure what I was hoping for? ……….. compliments on my silky smooth legs! Again doctors and nurses really don’t care!
So there you have it. The lesson to be learn’t? Your mum is always right and you should always listen to her. Because you never know when you might be caught with your pants down. Keep those legs shaved and your nether regions trimmed!
As for my other community service in all seriousness. Be alert. Know your body especially is you are fair skinned like me. Check yourself regularly and be aware of freckles / moles you have so you can be on the lookout for any changes. I’m not a sun worshiper. I actually hate the beach or lying by a pool sun-baking. Unfortunately for me genetics and growing up a child of the 70’s and 80’s with a lack of information means, as an adult I need to be fully aware of what’s going on with my skin. By the time I hit my teenage years I rarely spent large amounts of time outdoors but I guess the damage was already done.
If you are a fellow Perthian like me and would like to see a dermatologist. I will happily recommend mine. His name is Doctor Harvey Smith and you can find him at Oxford Day Surgery and Dermatology. More information here
Have a great weekend everyone! If you enjoyed this post or know someone who may find it beneficial please share.
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