Perfection vs Reality


My life is perfect. Really? How do you know this?

Maybe that’s just what I would like you to believe! Some of us have wanted at times to present a perfect image of ourselves, our families even our homes. Sorry to say I’m no exception.

If you follow me on Instagram or know me on Facebook you would you would see many pictures of the seemingly happy (or dare I say ‘perfect’) life I lead. Smiling faces, family outings a beautiful house. The reality of course is nothing like the snippet you get in a Facebook or Instagram photo.

There are the people closest to me who know the truth of my world, warts and all!. But there are also many people I’ve come into contact with over the course of my life through work, friends or school mums that make ridiculous assumptions about me ALL the time! Those who take the time to get to know me I hope would say I’m a caring, loyal and hilarious friend. It doesn’t alter the fact that sometimes we only see what we want to see.

I don’t want you to think my life is a total fabrication. Nor do I want you to think the photo’s you see completely misrepresent my life. What I want you to know is that there is always a story behind the happy snap. Some parts of my life are awesome while other parts are, well they’re complete shit!

For instance, the smiling selfie you see of me probably took twenty goes to get right. The photo never has to be perfect, it just has to be deemed acceptable by me! And some days I know there will be people who will see the photo and roll there eyes at yet another selfie. But they wont stop to consider that posting the photo doesn’t make full of myself. It makes me vunerable because I know I’m putting myself out there for others to criticize. I have just as many hang ups about my appearance as everyone else!

What about the kids posing next to each other with smiles plastered on their faces? What the photo doesn’t show is that minutes before they were trading insults and that one of them was refusing to stand next to the other! No doubt at some point I’ve either bribed or yelled at both of them just to get a nice damn photo. And while all of this bickering is going on I have probably lost it a hubby for no good reason!

I think it’s important for all of us to remember that what you see in a person’s photo or what real time experience you have with them is at times a very small glimpse into someones day. The best parts of an otherwise pretty ordinary life.

I’m not a model. I don’t bake gorgeous looking cupcakes. My house isn’t always immaculate. Occasionally I make pretty things!

I love seeing the efforts of others. What they are up to or what they have created. It’s inspiring, but sometimes it makes me feel inadequate, like I should be doing more.  And that’s no ones issue but mine. It’s hard to not compare yourself to others and what they are doing, or how fabulous they look. How easy there life seems. But now I realize I can’t compare myself to what I see in a carefully constructed photo. I have no idea what is going on behind that lens.

This doesn’t just happen on social media, it happens in real life all the time. I’ve met the people with the shiny new car, beautiful house and ‘perfect’ life but they are exhausted from trying to keep up appearances. The mother whose baby sleeps soundly all day doesn’t tell you the baby screams all night and no ones getting any sleep. Perhaps the person who photographed their home cooked roast meal had sandwiches for the dinner the next night, who know’s!

My life is far from perfect. But I’ll take it the way it is. The regrets, the mistakes. Ownership is mine. It’s hard being a parent, making decisions and wondering if you’ve done the right thing. I constantly think I’m not doing a good job or that I could be doing better. Ultimately you can only do your best!. We all want to be better husbands, wives, sisters, brothers and friends.

How about we all give ourselves and each other a great big pat on the back for all the good stuff we do. No ones life is without hardships and heartaches. Look beyond the pretty picture and what you think you know. It’s a judgmental enough world we live in already.

We all hope to live great lives, love unconditionally and laugh abundantly. To be appreciated and accepted for who we are and what we do. Not for how great our photo stream is.

Until next time I’m off to fold my basket of washing from three days ago, clean my house again and tell my kids not to fight with other because,  that’s how I roll!

Cheers to your highlight reel and to keeping it real!

Malinda xxx





7 thoughts on “Perfection vs Reality

  1. Hi Malinda, what a great post! I admire your honesty. It’s so easy to create the illusion of a perfect life, sometimes even unintentionally. I’m an academic, and in research even when you show objectivity there’s always a degree of subjectivity – whose story do you tell, which sentences from an interview you highlight, how you string the words together and I try to ‘cut myself some slack’ by keeping that in mind. Even with my blog ‘A Life Un-Styled’ and the philosophy behind it I try to remember that even when I share the not so great pictures and stories they are still the ones I’ve chosen out of all the others to tell. And can I really be expected (or expect myself) to share everything in its totality? I’m so glad I found your blog xoxox

    1. Thank you so very much again Vanisha for your kind words. I’m very new to blogging and was just saying to my sister today that maybe I need a filter to stop me saying too much! But,that’s who I am, ask me a question about my life and I’ll answer honestly. I don’t know how not to! I also just went and looked at your blog, it is stunning to say the least! The photography and what you write, I’m glad I found you also. Have a wonderful rest of the day xxx Malinda

  2. Hello! I found you via Kylie Purtell’s Show and Tell on Facebook. I agree with everything you’ve said in you post except one thing: for me it’s not that “we only see what we want to see”, rather it’s that people only see what WE want them to see. If you only ever show the pictures that took 20 goes to get right, then that’s all people will see. I like it when people take a snap, just the one, and show that and say “this is me, just me”. To show people what hoes on behind the pretty lens, well, to me, that’s the real beauty. x

    1. Hi Bron,
      Thanks for stopping by, I appreciate your comments. You’re right in saying that people will only see what I choose to show them. I just wanted people to know that there is usually a much different story going on behind the picture you see and that my life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows!
      I love candid snaps also and agree that’s where the real beauty is, that’s where the magic happens.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s